Know your blogger September 12, 2008
Posted by crazycuban in Uncategorized.1 comment so far
So I figured I should write an introductory type blog on here. Instead of just writing a solid block about why I created this site and what I’ll be writing about, I decided to do a little question and answer for any of you unfortunate bastards that happen to come across this blog. So sit back, put your feet up and enjoy.
Q: Why did you decide to start a blog?
A: Boredom? It was late at night, I was in a writing mood so I decided why the hell not. I had been meaning to do something to get into writing again since I haven’t done that in well over a year now. It’s hard to go from writing as much as I used to, to never writing at all. I figured this was as good a way as any to get back into it.
Q: What type of writing did you use to do?
A: I used to be a sports writer for newspapers. I started doing that in college and continued until about two years ago. After a nice vacation I got back into newspapers, but I am now on the production side of things so no more writing for me, not counting things like headlines and cutlines of course.
Q: Why did you choose this site to blog on?
A: I wasn’t really sure what the difference between the blogging sites was. I just wanted something that was easy to maintain. I know enough about computers to get by, but I definitely am no expert so it couldn’t be anyplace that was too complex. Ultimately I went with this one cause my friends Burke and Arla also have a blog on here. The address for theirs is drive2dine.wordpress.com if you want to check it out.
Q: What are you gonna be talking about in this blog?
A: Your guess is as good as mine. I’ll pretty much just be writing about whatever pops into my mind when I get in the mood to write. Or maybe I’ll see something that peaks my interest and I’ll decide to write about that. My blogs could end up being about anything from sports to weather to cartoons to what I did on a certain weekend. I barely know what I’m gonna be talking about for the rest of this Q&A, much less what I’ll be writing about in future blogs.
Q: Why would people care about these rants?
A: No one’s asking them to. This is just a way for me to get writing outta my system and entertain a few people along the way. I’m not trying to change anyone’s life with what I have to say. But if it gives them a few laughs or just a different way of looking at things, that’s good enough for me.
Q: Why did you go with Crazy Cuban for your site’s address?
A: Well, basically No. 1 I’m Cuban and B most of what I write will probably be crazy to most people. Since this is all for fun I’ll pretty much just be rambling about whatever pops into my head. And since this is just my little corner of the Word Wide Interweb, I don’t gotta worry about little things like whether or not what I have to say is fit to be published. That type of freedom will be pretty nice.
Q: Are you going to be on a steady writing schedule?
A: Probably not. It’s mostly gonna depend on when I get the urge to write something. About the only consistent thing will be that most of my writing will come late at night. That’s always when I’m most creative. Oh, and the whole working till midnight thing might play a factor in the late night writing as well.
Q: So any hints on what your next blog will be about?
A: You’ll just have to keep checking back to see for yourself. The beauty of my warped mind is that no one ever knows what could pop up in there. As you can tell from the few blogs I have on here, I tend to jump from one thing to something completely unrelated. So I guess that best answer I can give is that if you’re excpecting one thing from me, you’ll probably be getting the complete opposite.
The cautionary tale of Ocho Cinco September 10, 2008
Posted by crazycuban in The Sporting World.Tags: Carson Palmer, Chad Johnson (Ocho Cinco), Cincinnati Bengals, NFL
1 comment so far
Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer reaches to pull "Ocho Cinco" off the back of receiver Chad Johnson's jersey prior to the start of a game against the Falcons. (AP)
I’m sure by now you’ve heard the story of Chad Javon Ocho Cinco.
Ocho Cinco was born Chad Johnson. After playing college football at Oregon State he moved on to the NFL and quickly became a star with the Cincinnati Bengals.
Since then he has been known for making highlight plays and being a key part of one of the most explosive offenses in the leagues.
But even more than his prowess on the field is the crazy celebrations he has become famous for.
There was the time he busted out the Riverdance after scoring in a game against Chicago.
Another time he went to the sideline during a game against Baltimore and threw on a giant Hall of Fame replica jacket with “Future H.o.F 20??” written on the back.
And then there was his bad idea of jumping into the stands during a game at Cleveland. He was promptly showered with beer by the Browns’ fans for his troubles.
But the moment that led to the name change was not in fact a touchdown celebration. In fact, it didn’t even happen during a game.
During warm-ups for a game against the Falcons on Oct. 29, 2006, Johnson showed up on the field with the name “Ocho Cinco” pasted on the back of his jersey where Johnson was supposed to be.
Bengals quarterback Carson Palmer promptly ripped the “Ocho Cinco” off his back and the team’s got on with their business.
But still, a nickname was born.
Johnson said he was doing it in honor of Hispanic Heritage Month with the name Ocho Cinco being Spanish for eight-five. While Johnson’s jersey number is 85, ochenta y cinco (the correct translation) just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
And now, a few years later, Johnson finally found a way to beat the system.
His move got me to thinking, what if other athletes were to start changing their names to their numbers?
What if Tom Brady suddenly became Tom Uno Dos? And hey, he’s gonna have plenty of free time for the next year so it’s something he might think about, well, between impregnating actresses and super models of course.
Or how about Kobe Bryant? Kobe Dos Quatro does have kinda a nice ring to it.
Even worse, what if athletes start selling their naming rights?
How long is it before LeBron Nike suits up for the Cavs?
Or how about if A-Rod sells his name to Pepsi and we suddenly get A-Pop?
And then of course there’s LaDainian Vizio? Actually, that one sounds kinda cool.
But I digress.
What’s that?
Ridiculous you say?
It’ll never happen?
The same coulda been said about the thought that Chad would change his name to Ocho Cinco just to spite the NFL.
Putting a patch on your jersey is one thing, but changing your last name to a number is what’s ridiculous.
And if you think he’ll be the last player to do something like this, then you’ll be sadly disappointed.
Although not as disappointed as those Patriots fans who get to spend the rest of the season watching Matt Cassel line up under center instead of Tom Uno Dos.
Of well, I’m sure the Pats will at least be able to make a good video out of it.
Rest in peace No. 24 September 10, 2008
Posted by crazycuban in TV/Movies/Books.Tags: Brock Sampson, Dean Venture, Dr. Thaddeus S. Venture, Hank Venture, Henchman No. 21, Henchman No. 24, The Monarch, The Venture Bros.
add a comment
Henchman No. 24 prepares for action.
I’m here to mourn the passing of a great American hero.
Of course, I am talking about none other than Henchman No. 24 himself.
What’s this? You don’t know who No. 24 is? Well then shame on you.
No. 24 is one of the Monarch’s most trusted henchmen in the Adult Swim cartoon “The Venture Bros.”
No. 24 and his best friend, No. 21, are considered to be the Monarch’s top two men in his constant battle to kill his nemesis – Dr. Thaddeus S. Venture.
Time and time again, the Monarch chose to send No. 24 and No. 21 into battles with the sole mission of destroying Dr. Venture, along with his trusty bodyguard Brock Sampson and the two Venture brothers, Hank and Dean.
While they never succeeded in killing the good doctor or the bodyguard, No. 24 and No. 21 did manage to kill the brothers at the end of the first season. Unbeknownst to them, however, was that Dr. Venture kept a large supply of Hank and Dean clones handy for such a moment.
Enough of the background talk, we’re hear to talk about the greatness that was no. 24.
No. 24 was perhaps best known for his unibrow and voice that sounded eerily similar to Ray Romano.
In addition to that, No. 24’s best attribute was his ability to escape unscarred from all the ludicrous mission that the Monarch sent he and No. 21 on.
As the Monarch so eloquently put it one day, No. 24 and his pal No. 21 combined a “rare blend of expendable and invulnerable.”
That is why, even though Brock has been able to kill more henchmen than anyone could count, he never could touch No. 24 and No. 21. Even after the duo killed the Venture boys (okay, so technically No. 21 killed them cause No. 24 was just driving the car), they still managed to escape any harm from Brock.
Granted, when the Monarch was sent to jail, No. 24 and No. 21 fell on hard times, even having to go to henchmen rehab, but they bounced back strong and led a new generation on henchmen for the Monarch.
In addition to their successes on the battle field, a highlight of the show is the back-and-forth banter between No. 24 and No. 21, whether they were arguing over No. 21’s purchase of a fake lightsaber or trying to decide who would win in a fight between Anne Frank and Lizzie Borden.
One of their greater debates revolved around the manner in which Smurfs reproduce.
To sum it up wouldn’t do it justice, so here’s the transcript:
Henchmen 24: Come on, they have one female servicing a large group of males! That implies a species that lays eggs!
Henchmen 21: Oh my god, you’re crazy! They’re so obviously mammals!
Henchmen 24: Please, she’d be in estrus 24/7 if she didn’t lay eggs.
Henchmen 21: Smurfs don’t lay eggs! I’ll tell you this again, Papa Smurf has a fucking beard! They’re mammals!
But alas, moments like this will be no more.
How No. 21 will bounce back from losing his best friend, no one knows. The Monarch may suffer from the loss even more as No. 24 was usually a key part of every mission he set for his henchmen.
Sadly, the moment that sealed No. 24’s fate was the moment he put safety first and decided to buckle his seatbelt as he and No. 21 were dodging the battle by chillling out in the back of the Monarchmobile and eating nachos.
Dr. Venture’s robot H.E.L.P.eR. jumped into the driver’s seat and took off. While No. 21 was able to jump out, No. 24’s seat belt got stuck and he was doomed. H.E.L.P.eR. had a bomb stuck on him, and as soon as it went off, one of the world’s greatest heroes was gone.
Fittingly, the last sight of No. 24 happens to be a touching moment with No. 21 as he catches his severed head following the explosion.
Rest in peace No. 24.
You will be missed.
Well, here goes nothing … September 9, 2008
Posted by crazycuban in Uncategorized.add a comment
So this is the world of blogging is it? Well, unfortunately for all of you, you will soon be subjected to the jumbled messes that make up my mind. Some of it will make sense, some won’t. Some will make you laugh while some might offend you. There’s no guarantees which you’ll see more of. A lot of the times I’ll probably write about sports, while other times you’ll be subjected to rants about movies, books or just things that are annoying me on a certain night. For tonight, this is all I’ll be putting up, but as I get accustomed to this site and the whole blogging thing you’ll be seeing much more of me. Whether or not that is a good thing will be up to you to decide.
